this is what happen when I push my self to participate in a design competition

I lost and I feel bad about my self. My ability.

From what I remember the last time I winning a competition was back in my high school years. I continuously winning drawing competition back in my hometown, golden era . When I grow up I lose my spare time to participate or even notice in any competition, but with my current ambitious competition-runner colleagues I start to grow a bit interest in this competition craving habit. It feels like a great nothing-to-lose activity.

So I decide to join this competition.

And shit I didn’t win.

The winner(s) are not bad, but they’re just not my cup of tea. Then I realized competition is never about my self, my personal taste. Competition is all about generalization, safety, common.

So last night when I enjoy my late dinner at Ketan Susu in Cilandak, I told him about my thoughts and these are most memorable lines fromΒ  him:

“Competition is never about yourself, is about what they (judges) want to see, it’s about their taste. But that doesn’t mean that your taste is not good. It’s just not suitable.”

“When you’re participating in a competition, any kind of it. Don’t push yourself to win, just participate fearlessly and forget it. A tiny hope won’t bring you anywhere but disappointment.”

“Competition is just a spare time activity, when you got things and projects more real to be done, don’t go for any competition. It waste your time and energy.”

“Don’t let your failure in any competition belittle your confidence, competition is 80% luck.”

“There’s nothing wrong about participate in competition, as long as the result won’t affect you.”


The best thing about competition is they push me to make these long time ago idea plate series happen, what a pusher. I think I’ll produce these plate by myself because I’m dying to have them hanging on my wall πŸ™‚

See you in the next competition, if I have the time. And yeah, back to work.



  1. True. thanks for sharing the thoughts La πŸ™‚ I used to torture myself over thoughts that i’m no good because i didn’t win any competition. And how browsing through others’ works only makes things worse XD. Art and design, they’re all a matter of taste, and now i’m trying not to make a big fuss over it, i just do whatever my heart is satisfied with, and so far, i’m satisfied πŸ™‚

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